Friday, August 9, 2013

Our Marriage, Then and Now.

Ten years ago, I married my best friend. And today, I'm celebrating ten crazy, good times and bad, happy & sad, in sickness & in health, for richer for poorer, laughter filled, full of lovin', wonderful years with my still, number one, best friend.
 
I was about to write a nice long anniversary post, including pictures from our wedding, but then I realized that I already did that- last year... And after I re-read that post this morning, I decided I really don't have much to add. So I am completely taking the easy way out, and just reposting my sweet memories from one of my favorite days, and adding a little update at the end. So here it is, and thanks for being a part of our lives.
 
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It was a beautiful day: Our Wedding.
 
Nine years ago, I married my best friend. We had dated for four years. We finished college, and were ready to start new jobs when we got home from our honeymoon.

The place we were married, was exactly the location I had envisioned, in every way. The mossy crepe myrtles, the wide open space, the indoor reception area with wall to wall windows, the balconies, and porches, the horse and carriage. The location was perfect for what I had in mind. Unfortunately, the month was probably not the best choice for an outdoor wedding. It was early August, and it was HOT. The ceremony started at 10am, and was a short service, but none the less, it was hot. And I apologize to, and thank, all of those friends and family members that were sweating it out for us.

**All photos in this post were taken by the very talented Dan & Debbie Huntting of Focus Productions**


On our anniversary, while we celebrate our union, I am always so thankful for our friends and family that stood beside us and supported us. Years after the official event, they have continued to stand by us, encouraging us, even holding us accountable at times. You truly may never know how much you are appreciated.


















And away we went... It was a beautiful day.

Here are a few things that I have learned since I've been married:

-I've learned that my way is not always right or best.
-I've learned that I love and embrace my role as a wife, however it's something I still haven't mastered, and I've still got a lot to learn.
-I've learned that my husband is really good at fixing things, managing our finances, teaching and raising our children, growing things, and taking care of me.
-I've learned that my husband needs my support, and needs to know that I respect him.
-I've learned that there a lot of ways that we are different, and a lot of ways we are the same. This can be positive and problematic sometimes.
-I've learned that "being happy" is not as important as doing the right thing, and in the end, doing the right thing actually brings happiness.
-I've learned that I don't need Bryan to go on living, but he sure does make the living so much more enjoyable.
-I've learned that my husband and our marriage are gifts from God, and it benefits me to treat them both as such.
-I've learned that just as getting married was our choice, staying married is our choice also. It's not always easy, but making the decision to work things out, to be loving in our actions, and to respect each other is so totally worth it.
-I've learned that I love this man more today, than I ever imagined I would nine years ago.
 
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The only thing I have to add, is that looking back, the fairy-tale details of our day, were just that, fairy-tale-ish. And while there is really nothing I would change about our beautiful wedding, I would love to go back and change my mindset. I was so young and naïve. I dreamed of a perfect life, with a perfect husband, and a perfect marriage. I never considered that I would disrespect my husband, or that he would disappoint me. I didn't think we would ever hurt each others feelings, sometimes even on purpose. It didn't seem possible that we would argue, and call names, and that I would yell and get so mad. And I surely didn't think we would ever "go to bed angry". And when those things happened, I was shocked.

We had unreal expectations. And I learned a lot in our first few years of marriage. Mostly about how much I need God, and about how very little control I have. I learned to be unshockable, to the point where really, things might surprise me, but now I won't say "so and so would NEVER..." because the truth is, we're all human. We all fail. It's going to happen. What matters, is what we choose to do after those failures, because it is a choice. It's about grace and forgiveness, and the courage to do the right thing, and move forward. And ultimately those times of trial and pain can produce something so amazing and beautiful, something that may never have been there without making it through the hard times.

So with that, today we celebrate ten years of something amazing and beautiful. We are happy and so thankful for each other and our relationship. As we are two completely imperfect people, our marriage is a testament to God's grace and forgiveness and love for us, and that is something wonderful to celebrate!

3 comments:

  1. Oh Amy, As beautiful and fairytale-ish your wedding day was, the couple and family you've become is even more breathtaking, lovely and true. We prayed for you that day, and over the years since then, and we rejoice in all the ways you've allowed God His rightful place at the head of your home. Your lives are both a blessing and a challenge and the words here are such good reminders to us "older married folk". The truths, although not always easy to live by, take deep roots in our lives and grow us into something lovely and lasting. I dearly love you and your family. Happy Anniversary and thank you for sharing! XO Debbie Huntting

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  2. Beautiful post Amy~heartfelt.

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