Saturday, December 15, 2012

Broken Hearted.

Ohhh, my heart just aches today. There are so many times over the past 24 hours, that I have had to fight back tears, and many times not successfully. I think about those sweet babies, so afraid. And their mamas and daddies... the panic, the complete horror. The families of the staff... Were they able to sleep last night? Have they stopped sobbing, even for a minute? And Christmas will never be the same for them, ever again. And I cry. And I'm angry. And while I have so many thoughts and words, I just don't know what to think or say. This is one of those times that I'm thankful that the Spirit intercedes for me, when all I can do is cry "Oh God". And I know the answers. I know that we live in a fallen and sinful world. I know that this is never what God designed or intended, and that people have chosen their own way over his. And I know that his heart grieves over the slaughtering of his precious creations. I know it. But "oh God..." It's just awful. And my heart hurts.

This morning, my three little loves played quietly on the floor with blocks. They made towers, and roads, and houses for a rabbit. And their innocence is beautiful. And I selfishly pray that they will never know the fear of the children in Connecticut, and that I will never know that loss. "Oh, God. Please protect us."


This week...
was the last "Burger Night" of 2012. (Burger Night is a fun night of food, friends and fellowship hosted by some friends, every other week.) We celebrated Christmas with a White Elephant gift exchange and the kids decorated mini gingerbread houses.

This week...
we actually had a "cold day". And this house was a flurry of giggles and snuggles, and playing outside, and soaking up as much of the chilliness as possible.


This guy requested that I sing Christmas carols to him, so that he could play along... I was happy to oblige! I love that little tongue stickin' out!

Perhaps the only good thing about a tragedy is that we are forced to look differently at our loved ones. We are more thankful, more understanding, more patient. We give more hugs and kisses, and make sure that no one leaves without hearing "I love you". This life can be so short, and holds no guarantees.

Oh God. Help us to really, truly love. Help us to celebrate, and treasure. Help us to be grateful. And help us to never take our days for granted.


  1. Amy I can’t put into words how overcome with emotions I have been, my heart is so heavy for the families of those who attend that school, especially those who lost such a precious gift in such a horrific way. I will never understand. My thoughts and prayers go out to them 8…[

  2. Your thoughts and the thoughts of most of us were so well said by you! I love you little mama.